Fearing the Worst
by kjt1
Summary: On a supposedly straightforward mission, Sam is injured, plunging SG1 into a terrifying ordeal. JS eventually. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Fearing the Worst

Disclaimer: As much as I wish it did, Stargate has nothing to do with me – life's just not that fair!

Rating: PG

Spoilers: It's set around early Season 7, so anything up to that point

Notes: I realized recently that I have only written and posted one Stargate fic, despite there being at least two more sitting half-written on my hard drive. So, I decided to rectify the situation by starting a completely new one (yes, I'm that crazy) and here is the result. I honestly have no idea where this came from.

---

Chapter 1 of ?

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Shots rang out. Colonel Jack O'Neill scanned his environment, determining the locations of his team members and trying to spot their attacker, a lone sniper. He hated planets like this, P4X-something – its full designation had long been erased from his memory, not that he really concentrated enough in the briefing to let it ever sink into his mind. The planet had two things; large expanses of nothing, and large expanses of trees. Unfortunately for them, the two hour trek they had made from the Stargate brought them into a large expanse of nothing, but with slight sand dunes from where the sniper was attacking and from where they were seeking refuge. Actually, the planet had three things, the other being the whole reason they had made the trip; it was Naquadah rich.

"Carter, head for the trees," he yelled as they were subjected to another round of fire, "I'll cover you." Major Samantha Carter acknowledged his words with a quick nod of her head and followed his instructions. "Daniel, you're next," he called, locking eyes quickly with the archaeologist.

As soon as the younger man reached relative safety, Jack motioned to Teal'c and the two remaining SG1 members ran to join the others, dodging bullets from the sniper and firing shots in return. Their shots missed every time, as they couldn't get a firm position on their assailant. Suddenly, a bullet whizzed by Jack, coming from the direction of the trees, and he instinctively turned to follow its path; he barely made out the profile of someone behind a sand dune. The shot from Sam's gun just missed the sniper, but they ducked for cover. Jack took advantage of the lull in crossfire and increased his speed, Teal'c following closely behind.

"Remind me why we're here," said Jack dryly as he made it to the trees and assessed his team.

"Because this planet is rich with –"

"I was joking, Teal'c," he said as the Jaffa started to explain. "Carter, you have blood coming out of your arm," he noted matter-of-factly, moving closer to her.

"It's nothing, Sir," she said lightly.

"I'll be the judge of that. Let me see," he ordered as she started to shift away from him. He tugged on her non-injured arm and she eventually let him inspect the wound.

"It's just a flesh wound, Sir, the bullet just grazed me."

Jack nodded his agreement, but insisted that it needed to be cleaned and dressed. "Let's move back a little more into the trees and then I'll deal with this," he decided. As they found a spot deep within the trees, Daniel and Teal'c kept lookout while Jack retrieved his first-aid kit and washed out the wound, not bothering to hide his smirk at the hiss of pain emitted from Carter's lips as the iodine made contact with her skin. "Just a graze, huh, Carter?"

"It's not deep," she insisted.

"No, it's not, but it's still bleeding, so I'm gonna apply some gauze, okay?"

"I'm sensing I don't get a choice," she muttered.

His task complete, Jack argued with Carter about forgetting the Naquadah and heading back to the SGC.

"Sir, we really need to get some more supplies and, if this planet is as rich as the probes said, it could be a godsend," she pressed.

"Okay, but we still gotta deal with Rambo out there," he pointed out, waving his arm in the direction of the sand dunes. She pinned him with a hopeful gaze and he shook his head, knowing he was giving in too easily. "Alright, there may be more snipers out there, so I think we should split up as we go through the trees, try and confuse 'em. Wait," he paused and turned to Carter, "we do have to go through the trees, right?" She confirmed that they needed to go straight through for at least another hour's walk and he muttered, "Typical," in an annoyed voice. "Okay, Daniel, you go with Carter," he ordered, "and you might have to use your gun, so be ready." Daniel nodded. "Oh, and Daniel? Make sure you change the dressing on her arm in a little while, otherwise the blood will congeal and it'll be a nightmare later."

"Uh, Jack?" said Daniel hesitantly. Jack looked at him questioningly. "I don't think I should go with Sam."

"Why not?" queried Jack with obvious irritation; he was not in the mood to hang around while there was a sniper in the area.

"I'm no good with the sight of blood and –"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud," yelled Jack, but Daniel's sheepish look caused him to calm down a little.

"O'Neill," said Teal'c suddenly, drawing their attention to him. "Is it not soon approaching darkness?"

As all eyes turned to her, Sam said quietly, "It's due to get dark in less than an hour, Sir. We lost a lot of time with the sniper."

"Great, just great," grumbled Jack. "Alright, new plan," he said after a moment's thought. "Let's get a bit further and find some cover. We set up camp and then head for the Naquadah at first light, keeping to the trees as much as possible." The rest of SG1 nodded their agreement and Jack took point as they headed deeper into the trees. "Never thought I'd be so glad of trees," said Jack to himself as they walked.

---

They took turns eating while the others kept watch for snipers. Only one tent had been set up, so that it would be faster to pack up the next morning. Their chosen camp area was at the edge of a small clearing, with their tent nestling among trees and giving them a full view of anyone who attempted to enter the area from all sides except that behind the tent, though that was visible if you sat in the right orientation. Usually, Jack would be worried about attackers from overhead, hiding in the trees, but the trees were not sturdy enough to allow that.

"How long until first light?"

"About another eight hours, Sir," supplied Sam immediately, having glanced at her watch only moments before.

"Okay, we'll take two watches, three hours each, so we can determine whether to move out early. Teal'c, you and Daniel take first watch so Carter's arm has a chance to heal a bit. I'll take watch with her just in case she can't shoot properly."

"I'm fine, Sir," she protested, but was silenced by his look. Bidding them all goodnight, she retreated into the tent and crawled into the sleeping bag. Her arm was itching and she started to scratch the area around the bandage that the Colonel had applied when they had made camp. It wasn't long before he joined her in the tent and ordered her to stop scratching.

"Carter, what's wrong?" asked Jack around ten minutes later, tiring of hearing her moving around every few seconds.

"Nothing."

"Carter," he warned, his voice weary.

"I can't get comfortable," she admitted. "I can't sleep in my usual position."

"Why not?"

"Because my usual off-world position is to lie flat on my back, arms behind my head –"

"Sounds familiar," he muttered quietly.

"But I can't put my injured arm behind my head," she continued, "because of the _huge_ bandage you put on it."

"It needs it, Carter," he insisted, smiling to himself as he remembered her earlier objections about the bandage he was applying being three times the size of the wound. "Look, just sleep on your side or something, I'm not gonna tell anyone that you didn't sleep in the _get up quick_ position," he said softly, the lilt in his voice persuading her.

"Okay," she agreed and turned away from him, letting her eyes fall closed.

---

"Carter, up and at 'em," said Jack as his watch alarm went off to signal it was time for them to start their watch. She didn't stir, even when her own alarm started to beep. "Carter, come on," he said more loudly. "I know you're not a morning person, but get up, fix your bedhead and get out there." She still didn't move, not even an eyelid and he felt the pang of worry creeping into his stomach. "Carter!" he yelled, worry increasing by the second. He pushed her shoulder to try and waken her, but jumped back in alarm as his hand became wet.

"Jack, what's going on?" asked Daniel as his head peered inside the tent. He found Jack rummaging around, trying to find his flashlight. As it was switched on, Jack cast the light in Carter's direction. "Jack, she's drenched."

"I know, Daniel," he said irritably. "She won't wake up." He let the light roam over her body and stopped as it fell on her arm. "What the hell?" The visible area around the bandage was a dark red color and looked incredibly painful. "Holy -- We gotta get her back to the SGC," he said firmly. "Get Teal'c and get this place packed up." Daniel nodded silently, knowing Jack wanted action, not words.

"DanielJackson, what is wrong?" asked Teal'c as a stricken looking Daniel emerged from the tent.

"It's Sam," he replied, his voice full of shock, "she's unconscious."

---

TBC…

A/N: I usually write longer chapters than this, but I figured I'd try out cliffhanger endings for the first time ;-)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers, etc. in Chapter 1

Chapter 2

---

While Teal'c and Daniel packed up the tent, Jack attended to Carter. He had carried her outside and she was lying on the ground while he wet a cloth and applied it to her forehead in an attempt to cool her fever. The air temperature was cold and he was being careful not to actually chill her, since it was dangerous to do so even when her body temperature was so high.

"We are ready, O'Neill," announced Teal'c as he hoisted his pack over his shoulders.

"Okay, we'll take turns carrying Carter. Daniel, you take her first so we can defend against any snipers. I'll take point, Teal'c, on our six." Both men nodded at him and Daniel bent down to carefully lift Sam into his arms.

Their trek back to the gate was quieter than they expected, with no sign of anyone in the vicinity, especially a sniper. Sam's limp body was passed back and forth between them and they made good time in their journey, with Daniel carrying her through the Stargate.

---

Jack knew that their early arrival would be enough for General Hammond to summon a medical team to the gateroom and he was relieved that his thoughts were proved correct as they emerged onto the ramp. Sam was quickly lifted from Daniel's arms and whisked away to the infirmary.

"Colonel, what happened?" asked Hammond as he watched them stare after Sam.

"Got caught in sniper fire. Carter got hit, but it was just a graze so we decided to keep going. Couldn't wake her up this morning though," replied Jack, his voice betraying his outer calm.

"Okay, hit the showers and then debrief in half an hour."

"Sir," started Daniel.

"I'll keep you informed of Major Carter's condition, Doctor Jackson."

General Hammond watched them as they left the room. All three were obviously affected by the events on their mission, even Teal'c's shoulders were noticeably drooping. Jack's brief statement of what happened concerned him, as he knew that Jack would blame himself for continuing the mission after Sam had been injured. His concern was warranted, as all three male SG1 members were heading for the infirmary, not the locker room, and they did not plan to be moved anytime in the near future.

---

"Colonel, I'm sorry to have called you away," said Hammond as a morose Jack entered the briefing room and sat down heavily, glaring at his CO. "I know you're all worried about Major Carter, but I need to know what happened on that planet. All the intelligence we had pointed to that planet being unoccupied, so –"

"Yeah, well it _wasn't_ unoccupied," said Jack hostilely, "it had a sniper."

"Yes, so we need to find out why we weren't aware of that."

"Well, obviously someone messed up with the intel!"

"Colonel," warned Hammond, "I'm sure I will hear your thoughts on that particular matter later, but right now I want to concentrate on what you saw and what happened to Major Carter."

Calming himself down, Jack proceeded to explain what had happened, giving as much detail as he could remember in the hope that something might be of use to help Carter. One of Doctor Fraiser's staff was making copious notes about the environment of the planet – the air quality, plant life, everything they could remember – and informed them that the soil samples taken the night before were currently being analyzed.

"General, how _is_ Sam?" asked Daniel as he sensed Jack's hostility rising again.

"Doctor Fraiser is still running tests, trying to determine why she's unconscious. The injury to her arm and the rash around it is leading her to believe the two things are related –"

"Well, gee, I'd never have guessed that!" said Jack sarcastically, unable to withhold his bitterness at the situation.

"It's unlikely we'll know more until the test results are back," continued Hammond. "I'm sorry, I know you're all worried, but she's in good hands." Looking at the faces staring back at him, he knew he would receive no further information. Each of them looked deflated and even Teal'c was beginning to fidget. "Alright, you're dismissed. I would tell you not to disturb Doctor Fraiser, but I don't think it would do any good. You're on downtime until the situation with Major Carter is rectified."

Daniel was the first to bolt from the room, quickly followed by Teal'c who, as usual, bowed before leaving. To his surprise, General Hammond found himself staring into the eyes of Jack O'Neill.

"Colonel, you don't want to visit Major Carter?"

"Yeah, I…" He trailed off and dropped his head into his hands, elbows perched on the table. "I didn't realize she had become unconscious until I woke up this morning."

"Jack, you had no way of knowing," said Hammond softly. "From what you said, this was totally unexpected."

"Yeah, but –"

"Jack, don't blame yourself. Go and see her."

"I thought you wanted us to stay away?" he queried with a smirk.

"And you would listen if I ordered you to do so?"

With a wry smile, Jack silently left the room.

---

"Before you ask, no, I don't have any results back yet," said Janet as Jack's head whipped round at the sound of her approaching footsteps. The deep sorrow in his eyes worried her and she said softly, "Colonel, she's stable for the moment."

"But she's unconscious," he pointed out, his tone almost emotionless, as though he was afraid to put any effort into speaking in case he lost control.

"Yes," agreed Janet solemnly. She moved to Sam's bedside and checked a few monitors and then used her penlight to look into her eyes. "No change," she said quietly in answer to Jack's silent question, asked only with his eyes. Bringing her hand to rest on his shoulder, she squeezed gently in support, hoping to transfer some strength to him. Every time Sam was hurt, Janet would find the Colonel in the infirmary just watching and waiting. The arrival of a nurse interrupted them and Janet took the papers being thrust towards her, studying them closely before turning to the Colonel. "She's been poisoned."

"What?!" said Jack in shock, shaking his head as if to clear it, not believing what he had just heard. "Poisoned?"

"Her blood work is showing a toxin in her system, Colonel."

"What kind?" he demanded, standing up and pacing the floor, but never letting Carter out of his sight.

"I don't know. We need to try and isolate a sample and determine it's chemical make-up, it's not showing up as a recognizable poison," she explained. Jack looked at her blankly, pleadingly, before returning his gaze to the woman lying unconscious in the hospital bed.

"What can you give her?" he asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

"We can't give her anything until we know what the poison consists of, we can't take the risk of giving her something and having it react _with_ the toxin, instead of against it."

Nodding, Jack slowly returned to his seat, far enough away from Carter that he couldn't give in to his urge to take her hand in his, but close enough that he could see the steady rise and fall of her chest.

"I'll run some more tests and we'll try to find something to counter-act this," said Janet.

"How the hell did she get poisoned?"

"It seems to have entered the bloodstream from her arm, so it must have been the bullet."

"It was only a flesh wound though, just a graze," he said, repeating Carter's own words about the injury.

"I know. I can only guess that maybe the bullet was coated in something and, when it grazed her arm and drew blood, it was enough to start the reaction. Colonel, General Hammond will need to be informed." Her tone was hinting that she wanted him to be the one to tell the CO that one of his personnel had been poisoned and Jack finally locked his gaze with hers and nodded. She knew he would fulfill his task when he was ready and she left the room to organize the further tests, leaving him alone with Sam.

---

Jack walked back into the infirmary after telling General Hammond the latest news, his eyes immediately searching for Carter. Noticing him arrive, Janet walked back into the room and acknowledged him with a brief dip of her head.

Pre-empting his question, Janet said immediately, "We're having difficulty breaking down the poison into its chemical components, Colonel, it could take some time."

"Does she have time?"

"There doesn't seem to be any change, she's no better, but she's no worse either. The poison is fully in her bloodstream, but it doesn't seem to be adversely affecting her."

"She's still unconscious," he pointed out tersely.

"Yes, but I meant that there's no apparent damage to any of her organs. The unconsciousness may well be her body's way of trying to fight the toxin."

Everything she was saying made sense, but Jack still found himself glaring at Janet, willing her to give him better news. As if his prayers were answered, the nurse in the room quietly said, "Ma'am, she's waking."

Moving quickly to her side, Janet called quietly, "Sam? Can you hear me?" Two eyelids opening groggily were the only response, but they were enough. "It's okay, Sam, just take your time."

"What happened?" croaked Sam as she finally managed to get her eyes to stay open long enough to focus on Janet.

Holding a glass of water out in front of her, Janet urged Sam to take a sip from the straw to quench her thirst a little and moisten her lips. Satisfied she was ready to hear it, Janet finally told her, "You became unconscious during your mission and were brought back here. Your bloodwork is showing you've been poisoned." There was no point in trying to tell her gently, it would only annoy her, but Janet felt guilty about being so blunt.

Sam seemed to remember something, as she nodded slightly at Janet's words. Her eyes then widened and took on a look of panic as she whispered, "Colonel."

"It's okay, Sam, he's here," soothed Janet, motioning for Jack to come forward.

"Hey, Carter," he said as he stood beside her bed and looked down into her eyes. Her reaction was something that was sure to stay with him for the rest of his life.

"Get him away from me!" screamed Sam, her voice hoarse but obviously terrified.

"Carter?"

"Get out of here!" she screamed again, reaching out with her uninjured arm to push him away.

"Sam, what's wrong?" asked Janet as Jack stood beside her in shock.

"That's not Colonel O'Neill," replied Sam, her voice almost a hiss. "Get him out of here."

"Of course it's Colonel O'Neill, Sam," said Janet.

Sam's eyes darted from Janet to the Colonel and back again. Resting her gaze on Janet, she said firmly, "_That_ is _not_ Colonel O'Neill." Both Janet and Jack started to speak, but Sam continued in a small voice, "Colonel O'Neill is dead. I saw him die."

---

TBC…

A/N: Told you I was working on my cliffhanger endings! :-D

A/N 2: Thank you for all the reviews, I really appreciate them.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers, etc. in Chapter 1

Chapter 3

---

Jack and Janet both reeled back in shock as they heard Carter say that she saw Colonel O'Neill die. Janet recovered her voice first and, after briefly glancing at the Colonel, she turned back to Sam and said gently," Sam, what do you mean? Colonel O'Neill is right here. He came back through the Stargate with you."

Sam shifted her gaze to the Colonel and stared at him, her eyes full of steel. "I have no idea who that is, Janet, but Colonel O'Neill is dead," she stated, her voice cracking towards the end.

Before Jack could say anything, Janet sent him a look that said she would handle things. She took a seat on Sam's bed and looked at her tenderly. "Sam, can you explain what you mean? You agree that the man standing here looks and sounds like Colonel O'Neill, right?" she asked, wondering exactly what Sam was seeing.

"Yes, but it's not him, it can't be." Her voice held terror and she closed her eyes for a moment, her body shuddering as she obviously replayed events in her mind. "He's dead, Janet. I saw him die," she whispered, her emotions beginning to get out of control.

Jack couldn't take any more and stepped forward. "Carter, I'm here," he said, waving a hand aimlessly in front of her face. He instantly regretted his actions as she shrank back from him in fear and then opened pleading eyes to look at Janet.

"Colonel, maybe you should wait outside?" suggested Janet.

"No, I'm staying here until this is sorted out. Carter, what makes you think I'm dead?" Her actions were worrying him and that caused him to get annoyed, still blaming himself for her becoming unconscious in the first place. "Carter, answer me." She remained silent, refusing to look at him. "Major Carter, answer me, that's an order!"

"Janet, get security!" yelled Sam. When her friend didn't react, Sam's hand shot out and hit the emergency buzzer beside her bed, sounding a klaxon throughout the SGC.

"Aww, hell," grumbled Jack, knowing they would soon be surrounded by security, with General Hammond sure to be fast approaching as well.

"Sam, you need to calm down," said Janet softly as Sam became more and more agitated, screaming that the Colonel in the room was an impostor and that he needed to be restrained immediately.

"Why won't you listen to me?" she shouted. "Do you think I would make something like this up?!"

It wasn't like Sam to shout at all, especially in the SGC and Janet placed a hand on her arm to try and calm her. Her reply to Sam's question was cut off by the arrival of General Hammond. "Doctor Fraiser, what the hell is going on here?" He entered the infirmary and immediately looked to Janet and Jack for answers. They shared a look with each other, not knowing what to say. Jack eventually took charge.

"There's a problem with Carter, Sir."

"She's awake," stated Hammond in surprise, noticing that Sam was now sitting up in bed.

"Yes, we didn't get a chance to inform you, General," said Janet apologetically. "We had a bit of an… issue."

"Airman, get that alarm turned off," said Hammond brusquely, motioning to a young airman by the door, who immediately left to carry out his order. "Who set it off anyway, and why?" he demanded to know.

"I did, Sir," replied Sam.

"Why?"

"Because there's a security breach, a major one."

---

The three worried figures of Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Fraiser and General Hammond stood outside the infirmary, all looking through the window at Sam. Jack had started to explain what was going on, but the constant interruptions by Sam were making it impossible and Janet finally ordered them out of the room so that Sam would calm down.

"She thinks you're dead?" queried Hammond, his tone showing that he wanted to feel amazed by the news, but that he would never automatically disbelieve anything after all that he had experienced since working in the SGC.

"It seems that way, yes," nodded Jack.

"Do you have an explanation for this?" asked Hammond of Janet.

"No, Sir. I can only assume that it is to do with the poison in her system, but I need to run some more tests, do another brain scan." The General scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Sir, she seems absolutely convinced," said Janet hesitantly, her gaze flicking to the Colonel and back again.

"Colonel," started Hammond.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" yelled Jack. "You don't actually _believe_ her, do you?" He didn't even try to hide his incredulity, or his contempt, and Hammond sent him a stern look. "General, what do you want me to say? I am Colonel Jack O'Neill, number –"

"Colonel, that's enough," interrupted Hammond, knowing Jack was about to give him all his military and personal details to prove his point. "I'm sorry, Jack," he continued more softly, "but we've been through this before. There's already one almost duplicate version of you out there, how do we know there isn't another one and that you're him?"

"Because I'm telling you! Look, I haven't had a visit from the Asgard, I haven't been cloned, I am Jack O'Neill!"

General Hammond turned to Janet. "Doctor, what do you suggest?"

"A DNA test should confirm things, Sir. The Asgard clone had a DNA anomaly."

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," muttered Jack, barely withholding his fury. "Fine, do whatever you gotta do," he finally acquiesced.

"Colonel, while we wait for the results, I'm going to have to restrict your movements," said Hammond. Jack rewarded him with a glare. "I'll have some airmen escort you to your office. Stay there until I tell you otherwise." Jack rolled his eyes. "Perhaps you can use the time to catch up on your paperwork," he added with a small smile.

---

The results of Sam's brain scan showed that the poison was more prevalent than before, which puzzled Janet greatly since Sam was now awake. She was no longer agitated, but she was upset, fighting back tears every few minutes. Janet considered sedating her, but didn't want to take such drastic measures until she had the Colonel's DNA results and knew for sure whether it was Sam that was actually the problem.

Daniel and Teal'c were currently sitting with Sam, talking about anything other than what happened on the planet, as Janet had warned them how frightened she had been earlier.

"You don't believe me, do you?" said Sam accusingly, staring at Daniel until he flinched.

"Uh, Sam, maybe you should get some sleep," he hedged.

"Daniel, do you really think I would say Colonel O'Neill was dead if he wasn't?" she said quietly, distress lacing her voice. "I _saw_ him die."

"We're still waiting on the DNA results, Sam, we'll know more then."

She wasn't appeased by his comment, but was too tired to argue anymore and let her head fall back against the pillows, closing her eyes. Frustration was growing inside her and she was scared that no-one would ever believe what she was telling them. Her mind was in overdrive trying to work out what had happened, how she could have seen Colonel O'Neill die and then see him in the infirmary. The only conclusion she had drawn was that it was an impostor, but she didn't know who was behind the plot and what they were trying to achieve. Every time she thought about it, her mind flashed back to the moment she saw him die and she felt tears welling up.

---

"Jack, how are you doing?" asked Daniel as he entered Jack's office and closed the door on the two airmen standing outside.

Looking up at him in irritation, Jack replied, "Well, Daniel, I've got armed guards outside my office, Carter seems to think I'm dead, I've got armed guards outside my office, I'm not allowed to go talk to Carter and figure this out, I've got armed guards outside my office and, did I mention I've got armed guards outside my office?!" His voice had been getting louder with every word and the final ones were shouted.

"You could have just said you weren't doing too well," mumbled Daniel.

Reflecting on the tirade he had just subjected Daniel to, Jack felt slightly guilty, but was still too annoyed to apologize. "Have you seen Carter?" he asked. Daniel nodded affirmatively. "How is she?"

"She's okay. She was falling asleep, so we left her to get some rest."

"Did she tell you what this is all about? Why she thinks I'm dead?"

"I didn't ask," said Daniel, instantly regretting his admission.

"Why the hell not?" fumed Jack.

"She's upset, Jack and she's worried that no-one believes her. We thought it best to talk about something else, take her mind off things."

"You really didn't discuss it?"

"We said very little about it, Jack," confirmed Daniel.

Jack sat back in his chair and picked up his yo-yo, releasing the string until it almost hit the floor and then retracting it skillfully. His gaze moved to Daniel again, but he kept the yo-yo motion going. "Don't suppose Doc Fraiser told you when my DNA results will be back, did she?"

"I didn't talk to her. Aren't you supposed to be doing paperwork?" queried Daniel with a small smile, letting his eyes wander over the pile of documents on Jack's desk.

"Why bother? Everyone seems to think I'm some kind of clone."

"Ah, you mean if you actually _do_ paperwork, it'll pretty much be proof that you _are_ an impostor? I mean, the real Jack O'Neill would never do paperwork."

"The way I see it, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, so I'm opting for the don't," commented Jack, his eyes twinkling slightly.

"I'll leave you to it." Daniel rose from his chair and crossed to the door, taking Jack's silence as agreement that he wanted to be alone.

---

"Ah, General, I was told I would find you here," said Janet as she entered Jack's office, leaving the door open. The General had been in there for five minutes already, arguing with Jack about why he couldn't go and see Major Carter. If it really was Jack, he could understand why he was so angry about not being allowed to see her but, if it wasn't Jack, it was too great a security risk. He was in a catch-22 situation and was grateful for the interruption.

"Doctor?" queried Hammond as he acknowledged her presence.

Janet's gaze met his for a moment before traveling to the other occupant of the room. She then looked over her shoulder at the airmen outside the door before looking back at both men.

"I have the DNA results."

---

TBC…

A/N: Thank you once again for all the reviews, I'm glad my cliffhanger was frustrating :-D


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers, etc. in Part 1

Chapter 4

---

Worry was etched into the face of Doctor Janet Fraiser as she looked at the two men in the office of Colonel O'Neill. Her look made both men uncomfortable and General Hammond looked over her shoulder to make brief eye contact with one of the armed guards outside.

"The DNA result was a positive match to Colonel O'Neill," announced Janet after what seemed like an eternity. Jack blew out a sigh and visibly relaxed, then realized that may make them think he had expected a different result. Knowing it was another 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' moment, he straightened his back and looked to the General.

"Good," nodded General Hammond. "What does this mean in relation to Major Carter?"

"We need to talk to her, get a full explanation of what she thinks happened on the planet."

"Why haven't you done that already?" demanded Jack.

"Colonel, I didn't want to push her when I didn't have any definitive answers as to whether she was right or wrong." Janet looked at him seriously, willing him to understand and he finally relented with a dip of his head. "I don't think we should tell her about the DNA result until we have her explanation, Sir," she told General Hammond. Jack started to protest, but she continued, "It will confuse and frustrate her even more and we don't know how that will affect the stability, or otherwise, of the poison."

"Has it progressed any further?"

"No, it still doesn't seem to be affecting her organs, which is what I don't understand. There doesn't seem to be any real point to the poison."

"Alright, we'll talk to her," agreed Hammond. "Colonel, you're free to move around the base as you wish, but don't leave the base and don't go anywhere near the infirmary."

Both General Hammond and Janet left the office before Jack could raise any objections, leaving him to stare after them in annoyance.

---

Sam was sitting up in bed looking forlorn when the General and Janet arrived. She immediately asked about the impostor, but the General simply told her that matters were under control. Janet gently asked her to explain what happened on the planet.

"I know it's difficult, Sam," she said softly as tears welled up in Sam's eyes, "but we need to know. We have the mission reports from the others, but you were the one in the immediate vicinity of Colonel O'Neill."

With a slightly trembling voice that she valiantly fought to bring under control, Major Samantha Carter began relating her story.

"The Colonel and I were behind one set of dunes, while Daniel and Teal'c were behind another. The sniper was doing a good job of hiding and the shot trajectory didn't allow us to get an accurate fix on his position. A bullet grazed my arm," she paused and looked at her bandaged arm, as if to convince them that she was telling the truth, "but I didn't let Colonel O'Neill know, as I knew he'd order me to attend to it while he covered me. The bullets were coming too fast though, I knew I needed to help return fire. I have no idea how it happened, I didn't see the bullet until it was too late, it came from nowhere." She stopped as her voice cracked and a tear started its slow path down her face. Janet placed a reassuring hand on her arm, squeezing gently. "The Colonel took it square in the chest. He… he fell to the ground. I stopped firing and knelt down beside him, checking for a pulse. There wasn't one." Tears were now streaming down her face, but she didn't wipe them away. Despite the tears, her voice had grown stronger, as if she was now numb to the pain the memory was causing.

"What happened then, Sam?" asked Janet softly.

"I called to Daniel for help, but he didn't hear me because of the gunfire between the sniper and Teal'c. Bullets started coming over my head again, so I ran to another dune to take cover, leaving Colonel O'Neill's body where it lay." Her hands were clasped together and she was pushing so hard that her knuckles were turning white. "I managed to get Daniel's attention and Teal'c covered us while Daniel checked the Colonel's body and confirmed he was dead." The pain was visible in her face again and sobs were now racking her body, but her voice was still firm. "I remember my eyes feeling very heavy and I guess I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is waking up here."

"Thank you, Major Carter," said Hammond gently. "I need to talk to Doctor Fraiser, discuss what to do next."

Sam started to speak, but Janet stopped her with another hand on her arm. "Everything's okay, Sam. A nurse will need to take another blood sample in a minute, so you get ready for that."

The General and Janet walked outside and Janet puffed out a breath, her mind swimming with what Sam had just said.

"This doesn't make any sense, Doctor. How can she have seen Colonel O'Neill die when the DNA test confirms he's very much alive? You ran DNA tests on her as well and she is Major Carter, how can this be?"

"I don't know, General," she admitted. "It would be too co-incidental for it not to be related to the poisoned bullet, but I don't know how it _can_ be the poison, as it doesn't appear to be having any significant impact on Sam's body."

"How long until you know what the poison consists of?"

"We're still working on it. There are two elements that we can't identify. From what Sam just said though, it's like everything that happened after she got hit by the bullet has been erased from her memory and replaced with something else."

"But she was conscious for quite a while after she got hit by the bullet, we know that from the accounts of the rest of SG1. How can all of that suddenly disappear? A memory stamp situation again?"

"I don't know, Sir."

---

After Sam's story was relayed to the other members of SG1, Jack insisted on seeing her. General Hammond refused and informed them all that Doctor Fraiser wanted to run some more tests before they informed Sam of the Colonel's DNA results.

"So what do we do in the meantime?" asked Jack with bitter frustration.

"General, what about Jacob?" said Daniel. "Shouldn't we contact him and tell him what's happened? Maybe the healing device might be of use?"

"I agree, Doctor Jackson," replied General Hammond. "I will contact the Tok'ra and get a message to Jacob. With regard to the healing device, however, Doctor Fraiser isn't sure it will be of much use. Unless the Tok'ra are familiar with the poison in Major Carter's bloodstream, they may be reluctant to try."

"We still need to find out if they recognize the poison though," pointed out Jack.

"Yes, Colonel, we do. As soon as I have made contact with the Tok'ra, I'll inform you all.

---

"Colonel, how did you get in here?" asked Janet sternly as she found Colonel O'Neill sitting at the end of Sam's bed, quietly watching her sleep.

"I outrank the guards," he shrugged. "Have you told her that I am who I say I am?"

"I told her the DNA results, yes."

"And?"

"She didn't believe them, demanded I re-test you and check the computers to make sure no-one hacked in and changed the DNA sample we have on file for you."

"Oh, for Cry—" Jack stopped himself from finishing his statement as his voice was loud. It was too late though and both he and Janet watched as Sam began to stir. "Hey, Carter," he said lightly before Janet could stop him.

"Janet?" said Sam in alarm, looking at the Colonel. "I thought General Hammond said _that_ had been taken care of."

"Sam, I told you, the DNA results confirm that this is Colonel O'Neill."

"It's not, Janet!"

"Carter, that's enough," stated Jack. "I know you've been poisoned, but you can't argue with DNA, so stop it."

Sam cast her gaze over him, her eyes full of disgust, and Jack swallowed hard, feelings of hurt washing over him at her look.

"Janet, how many times do I have to tell you? Colonel O'Neill is dead!" she yelled. She started to get up from the bed, ripping monitor connections from her body, and Janet asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to sort this out, I'll check the computers myself, prove to you that the DNA sample in Colonel O'Neill's records must have been tampered with."

"Carter," warned Jack, but she ignored him and stood up. Suddenly, she brought a hand to her head and let out a scream of pain. "Carter!" called Jack.

"Sam? Sam, what's wrong?" asked Janet, helping Sam sit back on the bed and taking out her penlight to start examining her eyes. As soon as the light hit her eyes, Sam hissed in pain again.

"It's not him, it's not him!" moaned Sam over and over again. "It's not him. Colonel O'Neill is dead."

"Colonel, you need to leave," ordered Janet as nurses came rushing into the room to assist.

Jack nodded mutely and started walking backwards out of the room, keeping his eyes focused on Carter for as long as possible. Reaching the door, he stepped outside and leaned against the wall, letting himself slide down its hard surface until he was sitting on the floor. Feelings of guilt hit him full force and his head fell into his hands as he whispered hopelessly, "Carter, I'm right here."

---

TBC…

A/N: Thank you again for the reviews. :-) I actually planned to reveal what was up with Sam in this chapter, but decided that this fit better - hope you don't mind. g 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers, etc. in Chapter 1

Chapter 5

---

With the exception of Sam, all of SG1 were gathered around the Briefing Room table, along with General Hammond. Each was lost in their own thoughts and the only sound was of Jack's pen absently tapping against the table surface. Soon after he had left the infirmary, Carter had slipped back into unconsciousness and Jack had a feeling he was to blame. Unfortunately, he was to be proved right.

"General," said Doctor Janet Fraiser as she entered the room and walked to the opposite end so that she was able to see all of the occupants, "she's awake." Jack, Daniel and the General let out sighs of relief and Teal'c bowed his head to show his pleasure at the news. "However," continued Janet, "it's not all good news." Being the center of attention was a little unnerving and Janet rested a hand on the back of a chair as she tried to think of a suitable way to break the news to them. She had been thinking all the way there, but had come up with nothing. No matter how she phrased it, the end result would be the same.

"Doctor Fraiser," prompted General Hammond, "what happened?"

"I ran another brain scan after she became unconscious again," explained Janet, making brief eye contact will all four men, but then dipping her head and letting her gaze fall to the table. "The poison has started to attack her brain." Audible gasps were heard and Janet took a deep breath before resuming her explanation. "To put it simply, it's causing something like a tumor in a part of her brain."

"She seemed to be stable though, what caused the progression?" asked the General, emotion clouding his voice slightly.

Janet raised her eyes to meet those of the Colonel, deciding it was the least she could do in the circumstances. He stared back at her. "I've re-checked the results of the earlier scans and checked the timings of a few things and… it appears that Sam gets worse every time she sees Colonel O'Neill."

Stunned silence. Then, a pen dropping onto the table and rolling to the edge before falling to the ground. More gasps and stares of incomprehension.

"Doctor, what exactly do you mean?" queried Hammond, surveying everyone in the room and seeing the looks of shock and, on Colonel O'Neill's face, utter fear and guilt.

"I know it sounds crazy, General, but I've double checked everything and it's the only thing that makes any sense. I think that, because Sam is convinced the Colonel is dead, actually seeing him in the flesh is inconceivable. Her brain is working harder to try and make sense of it, which seems to allow the poison to attack more easily."

All eyes turned to Jack and he felt his heart rate quicken. He had been told not to go near the infirmary, but had anyway. Now, Carter had some kind of brain tumor and it was his fault. It was too much, he needed to be alone. Without asking for permission, he pushed away from the table and stood, walking to the door.

When General Hammond didn't say anything, Daniel called, "Jack," as he left the room. Jack just kept walking. "He's never gonna forgive himself for this," said Daniel quietly as everyone nodded in agreement.

"General, have you talked to Jacob?" asked Janet.

"No, I haven't been able to make contact with the Tok'ra yet, we're still trying."

"She seems to be stable again for now, the tumor grew very fast, but has stopped growing at the moment. We need to identify the two elements of the poison that we don't recognize though, we can't develop anything to counter-act it until we do," said Janet.

"I'll let Jacob know," said Hammond, his face showing how little he was looking forward to telling his old friend of Sam's condition.

---

Daniel finally tracked Jack down in the commissary, where he was drowning his sorrows in jello.

"Blue, Jack?" teased Daniel.

"I figured I should see what Carter makes all the fuss about," he shrugged, aiming for nonchalant but not quite pulling it off.

Daniel took a seat opposite Jack and asked seriously, "How you doing?"

"I'm not the one in the infirmary," Jack pointed out. He scraped his spoon against the bottom of the jello container and then pushed them away in annoyance, knowing he could no longer use them to avoid conversation.

"Janet says Sam is stable again." Jack's head rose at that and Daniel smiled at him encouragingly. Jack nodded, but there was no smile. "What's the next step, Jack?" The Colonel looked at him blankly. "I know you're sitting here trying to figure out what to do, you're not exactly known for your patience and your ability to sit around doing nothing." Daniel's tone was teasing, but it was only there to lighten the serious atmosphere.

"I have no idea, Daniel," he said sadly. "I have to do something though, you're right about that."

"Jack, this isn't your fault," said Daniel as he identified the guilt in Jack's voice and posture. "You couldn't know Sam would get worse from seeing you."

"That's not what's bothering me."

"You couldn't know she was going to fall unconscious either. She said it herself, the bullet just grazed her arm."

"Not that either," grunted Jack.

"Then what?"

"She got hit by a bullet when she was standing next to me, Daniel and I didn't even notice."

"No, she _kept_ it from you, Jack, she didn't want you to know," he pointed out.

"Exactly, Daniel. I'm her CO and she didn't feel she could tell me she'd been shot!"

"Because she knew you'd make her stop fighting and attend to her wound."

"Damn right I would have," agreed Jack gruffly.

"She knew she was capable of continuing to shoot though, Jack, but she knew you wouldn't listen to that." Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Daniel cut him off. "If it was anyone else that had just been grazed like that, Jack, say me, or Teal'c, would you have ordered us to stop?" Jack glared at Daniel and then stood up, walking towards the commissary exit. "Jack, where are you going?" called Daniel.

"Back to the planet," he tossed over his shoulder as he left.

---

"You are not going back to that planet, Colonel," said General Hammond firmly, for the third time.

"General, there's nothing I can do here. At least on the planet I can track down whoever shot Carter and get some kind of anti-venom."

They had been arguing about the situation for ten minutes, ever since General Hammond told Jack that Jacob Carter was on a mission and couldn't get to the SGC. Although Jacob was concerned about Sam, he knew that she was in good hands and was assured that she was stable for now. Jacob didn't think the healing device would be of much use without knowing what the poison consisted of, but he said he would send a Tok'ra operative to investigate. They were expecting someone within a few hours. Jacob would be completing his mission on a planet that contained a Stargate, so said he would be able to get there in a hurry, if necessary.

"Colonel, I'm not going to discuss the option of going back to the planet until we have determined if the Tok'ra can be of assistance. I can't take the risk of anyone else being shot by one of those bullets, especially since we don't even know what the poison really does."

General Hammond knew that Jack was furious at the decision, but he didn't have a choice; he really couldn't take the risk. Any further discussion was prevented by the arrival of Janet.

"She's resting," said Janet immediately to their unasked question. "I've talked to her again and she's still determined that the Colonel is dead. Daniel has talked to her as well, but she won't listen. Every time we mention it, she gets more agitated and I'm worried that it's going to affect her condition even more."

"What do you suggest, Doctor?" asked Hammond.

"I'm sorry, Sir," she said, looking at Jack, "but I think you need to avoid all contact with Sam until we can find a way to combat the poison, or at least figure out exactly what its purpose is."

"You still have no idea what it's supposed to do?"

"No, General, I don't. I know it's staring me in the face, but I just don't understand. I know it's now affecting her brain, but it's in a part that I wouldn't expect. None of her other organs are affected though, which is the really strange part. The poison is throughout her body, carried in her bloodstream, so why only her brain?"

"Keep doing what you can, Doctor," said Hammond gently, knowing how much it was upsetting her. "In the meantime, Colonel, you'll need to stay away and I'll make sure that your name is not mentioned around Major Carter."

Jack emitted a frustrated sigh and tugged at his uniform in annoyance. "This is like some kind of bad dream," he muttered.

"That's it!" exclaimed Janet. Turning to them both, she said, "Sirs, I have to go talk to Sam. I'll be back." With that, she left the room, leaving the two officers staring after her.

---

TBC…

Okay, I'm thinking this is going to be wrapped up in a total of 8 chapters, which is way longer than I ever planned. Thank you for the continued reviews, they're actually encouraging me to devise more cliffhangers ;-)

I should also mention that I'm not using a beta for this fic, mainly because I want to get the chapters out as soon as possible. So, if anyone spots any errors, please email me and let me know.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers, etc. in Part 1

Chapter 6

---

Nearly an hour passed before Janet appeared in General Hammond's office. Jack had been banished to his own office soon after Janet left, due to the fact that he destroyed every pen on the General's desk with his impatient fidgeting. The General picked up his phone and summoned SG1 to the Briefing Room, deciding they should all hear whatever Janet had to say directly from her, rather than it being relayed numerous times.

It took less than four minutes for Jack, Daniel and Teal'c to assemble in the Briefing Room, much to Janet's amusement. They greeted her politely but, when she didn't immediately start to speak, Jack demanded to know what was going on, why she had run out of the General's office so quickly earlier.

"Colonel," warned General Hammond, giving Jack a look that said 'sit down and be quiet so that the doctor can speak'.

"I think I've identified what the poison is actually doing to Sam," started Janet, "the reason she thinks you're dead, Colonel." They all looked at her inquisitively, eagerly awaiting her explanation. "The part of her brain that is being attacked by the poison is the part that is thought to control memories, but the poison also seems to have infiltrated another part, which wasn't noticeable at first. I think it actually affected that area first, but it was such a small amount compared to the rest we didn't really take it into account." Glancing around the room, she realized she was losing them and sought to clarify further. "The other part affected is that which holds our fears, phobias, that kind of thing." They nodded in understanding. "It was what you said earlier that gave me the clue, Colonel," she continued, eliciting raised eyebrows of surprise from Jack. "You mentioned that this all sounded like a bad dream and you're right, well half-right."

"Carter's dreaming?" queried Jack, his brow furrowed again.

"No. She's very much awake, but she thinks her worst fear has come true." Janet stopped again, giving them a moment to prepare for what she was about to say. "I think when Sam was hit by the bullet and the poison was released into her bloodstream, it marked an instant in time for her. Although she carried on as normal after that, when she became unconscious the poison targeted the part of her brain that holds her fears. Somehow, and I have no idea how, but I've given up trying to explain everything that happens in the SGC, somehow the poison then affected her memory, taking it back to the moment she was shot and replacing everything that happened after that with Sam's worst fear."

"This doesn't make any sense," stated Jack.

"I know, Colonel, but hear me out. I've talked to Sam again and I asked her what she was thinking about when the bullets were flying around from the sniper. I eventually got her to admit that she saw a bullet come very close to you and she was scared you were going to die. Of course, she then went on to tell me that you _did_ die, but we know that's not what happened."

"But, I get in dangerous situations all the time, Carter's used to it," said Jack.

"It may happen all the time, Colonel, but she's _not_ used to it." Janet's gaze switched to the General and she gave him a meaningful look. He understood her silent question and nodded for her to continue. "Colonel, Sam's worst fear is that you will be killed. The poison has taken that fear and played a trick on her mind, which is why she's convinced you're dead."

"Oh, come on!" said Jack in disbelief. "No way could that happen and, even if it could, her worst fear would be losing her Dad, or Mark and the kids."

"No, Colonel, I talked to her, her worst fear is losing you." Janet's tone was gentle and she gave Jack a tender look, knowing how he was going to feel.

Daniel knew how Jack was going to react as well and he quietly said, "It's not your fault, Jack," but his comment went unheeded as Jack's shoulders drooped in defeat and he scrubbed a weary hand over his face.

"What do we do now?" asked the General, drawing attention away from Jack, though Hammond still watched him carefully.

"I still don't know," admitted Janet. "I'm convinced that this is what's happened, but I have no idea how to reverse the process."

"Okay," nodded Hammond, "the Tok'ra should be here soon, let's hope they can help."

"There has to be some kind of anti-venom on the planet," said Jack pointedly, but the General ignored him.

"We'll review the situation again after the Tok'ra give their verdict on the poison and the healing device."

---

"What do we do now?" asked Jack. He was once more in Hammond's office, where he had just been informed that the Tok'ra were unable to identify the poison or the unknown chemical elements and that they were reluctant to use the healing device under such circumstances.

"The scientists are still working on the poison, Colonel, I think we should wait a while longer," replied Hammond.

"No."

"Colonel?"

"General, we gotta go back to the planet. There's nothing else left."

"Colonel, I can understand your reasoning, but we don't know for sure that they will have anything to counter-act the poison."

"Come on, if they're using poisoned bullets you can bet they have something to counter-act the poison in case there are any mishaps."

Jack was leaning on the back of a chair, attempting to stare down the General, and his voice was getting louder and more incredulous with every word he spoke.

"Jack," said Hammond quietly, using his first name to show that it was a friend talking, not a CO, "there are a lot of issues to consider."

"I can't just sit around and do nothing, George."

"I know, but if you go back to that planet and are hit by a bullet, you could be killed. If that happens, Sam's worst nightmare won't just _seem_ real, it will _be_ real."

"She thinks I'm dead anyway, I'm not allowed to go anywhere near her because I make her worse." He looked at the General almost pleadingly, adding, "I'll wear full body armor," as a compromise. When the General still wasn't convinced, Jack admitted slowly, "She thinks I'm dead and not being able to see her, to convince her I'm real… it's killing me anyway, at least my way I'd be _doing_ something."

"Colonel – Jack," said Hammond eventually, "you need to be careful." Jack understood the double meaning behind the words; he needed to be careful on the planet, but he also needed to be careful with what he said, he was starting to reveal things he shouldn't.

"I know what I'm doing," replied Jack, his own words holding a double meaning.

---

The event horizon disappeared behind them as Jack, Daniel and Teal'c arrived back on the planet. Their weapons were raised and they were poised for action, but the whole area seemed vacant.

"Never a sniper around when you need one," muttered Jack sarcastically as they cautiously made their way to the familiar dunes. As soon as the words left his mouth, a bullet flew past his head, then another one from a different direction. "Typical," he grumbled. "Nothing, and then two come along at once, just like buses."

Teal'c cocked an eyebrow at O'Neill's words and Daniel gave a wry smile before all three started returning fire.

"Whatever you do, make sure at least one of them stays alive," ordered Jack. Their mission was to talk to the sniper and get a cure for Carter's condition and Jack had every intention of fulfilling it; if the sniper happened to get killed after they got the cure, that was just something he'd have to live with.

They swapped fire for a few minutes while Jack decided on a course of action.

"Daniel, you stay here and keep firing warning shots," said Jack. "Teal'c, head for the guy on the left, I'll take the guy on the right, I think that's who shot Carter. Go around back and try to take them without having to shoot. Use your Zat if you have to, but stun only. Try not to use it though, I don't wanna have to wait for them to wake up before talking to them." Both Teal'c and Daniel nodded their agreement to the plan. "Daniel, you're gonna have to keep Teal'c and I informed of the other's progress, but maintain radio silence unless one of us initiates communication, okay?"

"Okay."

"Take this radio," continued Jack, fishing out a spare radio from his jacket. "Switch to channel one, keep the other one on three. Teal'c, you stay on three and I'll use channel one, that way we won't risk being disturbed as we're approaching the snipers."

Teal'c understood O'Neill's plan as soon as he produced the second radio, but Daniel appreciated the explanation. He switched it to channel one and placed it beside him on the ground. "Alright, I'm ready," said Daniel with more conviction than he felt. Finding a comfortable position, he started shooting more frequently, trying to fool the snipers into thinking that Jack and Teal'c were still with him.

Stealthily, Jack and Teal'c made their way to the snipers, keeping low behind the dunes and not firing their weapons so that their positions would not be known. Jack had no idea where Teal'c currently was, but he hoped he was near his target. Using his Black Ops training, he crept behind the sniper, clutching his Zat. Bringing it into contact with the sniper's neck, he said threateningly, "Drop your weapon," knowing that his tone of voice and the weapon in his hand would be enough to alert the sniper of his intentions, even if his words weren't understood.

The sniper turned quickly, trying to catch Jack unaware, but he failed and Jack pushed into him, bringing the Zat under his chin. Pressing his body against the sniper to restrict movement, and holding the Zat with one hand, Jack used his free hand to work his radio. "Daniel, I have the sniper under control. Repeat, I have the sniper."

"Okay, Jack," said Daniel in reply. "Teal'c has the other one."

"Conscious?"

"Yeah, he didn't have to shoot."

"Good. Get Teal'c and bring the other sniper to my position. Be careful, we don't know if there are any others."

"On our way. Daniel out."

"What do you want?" demanded the sniper, alerting Jack to the fact that he spoke English. Jack surveyed his captive carefully, noticing that he seemed to be little more than a boy. He decided to wait until Daniel arrived before speaking, knowing he could easily lose control and wanting someone there to restrain him if necessary.

"Jack," called Daniel as he and Teal'c came into view. Teal'c was dragging the other sniper alongside him, nodding to O'Neill as they approached. "What now?"

"You wanted to know what we want," said Jack to his prisoner, "well, you're about to find out." The fleeting look of fear on the sniper's face brought a brief smile to Jack's lips and he hoped the interrogation would prove to be easy. "The bullets you're using, they're poisoned?" No reply was forthcoming and Jack shook the sniper harshly, waving the Zat in his face. "You have something to counter-act its effects?"

"No," said the sniper, an evil grin appearing.

"Don't gimme that!" growled Jack. "I want to know what the poison is and I want to know how to get rid of it. Now!" he yelled as more silence ensued.

"You were here before, I hit one of you."

"Yes, and now you're going to tell me how to get rid of the poison."

Daniel watched Jack question the sniper and wondered what extent Jack would go to in order to help Sam. Killing the sniper wouldn't serve any real purpose, unless it provoked the other sniper into providing answers. More silence followed and Daniel decided to step in. He politely explained the situation, telling them that they knew what the poison was designed to do and then asked them for help.

"Why did you come?" asked the sniper in Jack's grip.

"For help. Our friend means a lot to us," said Daniel.

"No, the first time. Why did you come?"

"We're explorers," started Daniel, but he was cut off.

"No," argued the sniper. "You wanted our treasure."

"Your treasure? Oh, you mean the Naquadah." The sniper looked blank at that word. "You possibly call it something else," said Daniel. "There's some of it present in the poison that coated the bullet you used to shoot our friend."

"Yes. You can't have it," said the sniper firmly.

"That's okay. We thought this planet was uninhabited, but we would have talked to you before taking anything," said Daniel gently, encouraged when the sniper seemed to believe him. "The poison… is there something that can reverse its effect?"

Although Jack's sniper appeared to believe Daniel, the one in Teal'c's hands did not and he loudly replied, "No, there is not," with a sickeningly wicked smile gracing his features. He gave the other sniper – who looked younger – a look and received a brief nod in response. "Our people developed the…poison, as you call it, many years ago but, if there ever was a cure, it has long since been forgotten." He took great relish in holding O'Neill's gaze as he spoke, watching the Colonel fight his emotions. "You will know by now that your friend thinks her greatest fear has come true, that is our way of punishing people who steal our treasure."

"She didn't steal anything!" yelled Jack.

"It was her intent to do so, do not try to deny it."

Jack let go of the sniper he was holding, thrusting him towards Daniel. He then took a step towards the man with Teal'c, looking at him menacingly. "You must have a cure, you wouldn't take the risk of one of your own people being hit by a bullet."

"Those bullets are only used in battle. If one of our people is hit by one, they are quickly put out of their misery."

"Tell us what's in the poison," demanded Jack, trying to find another way to get information to ultimately help Carter. If they knew what it consisted of, they could try to create a cure themselves.

"Has she passed the fear stage yet?" asked the sniper. Jack didn't reply, but the confusion on his face betrayed him. "She will eventually die of a broken heart. Her greatest fear will seem even greater to her, until she reaches the stage where she cannot continue."

"You don't know, Carter," said Jack, "she's too strong, she'll learn to live with what she thinks has happened."

"It will not work."

"It will," stated Jack vehemently, "you'd be surprised what people can cope with if they have to." Daniel's gaze flickered to Jack, watching as the sadness of losing his son hit him once more.

"The poison will weaken her. No-one will believe what she tells them has happened, as it has not actually happened. This will frustrate her, she will grow to hate them. Soon, she will have no reason left to live."

Daniel let out a gasp, recognizing some of what had been said. When he had last tried to convince Sam that Jack was alive, she had yelled at him ferociously, telling him she didn't trust him anymore, that she no longer considered him a friend.

"What are you saying?" demanded Jack, grabbing the sniper by his collar.

"The poison will make her hate everyone and eventually she will also hate herself, until she can no longer bear to be alive." He stopped and looked directly at Jack as he sneered, "She will kill herself."

Jack let go of him abruptly and stumbled backwards. Catching Daniel's eye, they shared a look , their own terror reflected in the other's face.

---

TBC…

I didn't plan for this chapter to get as angsty as this, but who am I to fight it? I'm sorry to say (honest, I am) that the next chapter will be pretty angsty too.

Thanks again for all your reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers, etc. in Chapter 1

Chapter 7

---

While he tried to regain his power of speech, Jack stared at the sniper who had delivered the verbal blow. The sneer adorning the sniper's face fell as Jack looked at him threateningly, willing him to say something that would give him an excuse to lash out physically.

Daniel looked helplessly at Jack and Teal'c, his mouth opening and closing automatically while he searched for something to say. It was Jack who finally broke the silence.

"Are there others on this planet?" he asked, his tone holding no trace of emotion. Daniel marveled at Jack's self-control, aware that he himself wanted to punch something, or someone, at that moment and conscious that Jack must feel worse.

"What do you mean?" asked the sneering sniper, as Jack now referred to him in his mind.

"The way you talked earlier, it sounded like you two are not the only people who live on this planet. Where are the others?"

"They are around," replied the sniper cryptically.

"Well, I wanna talk to 'em," said Jack.

"Why?"

"Because I talk to the organ grinder, not the monkeys." The two snipers shared looks of confusion and Jack sighed before explaining, "I'm figuring you two are not the main men of this planet, so I want to talk to whatever man, or woman," he added, thinking about how Carter would kick his butt for automatically assuming a man would be in command, "is in charge. Take us to them."

The snipers traded looks again, but the movement of Jack's hands to his P-90 was enough to make them nod in agreement. They led the way to the forest, but walked around its perimeter, rather than through the trees. About halfway along the edge, they diverted to another track and then pointed to a cave.

"We must go down there."

"Your people live underground?" queried Daniel. The snipers both nodded and Jack roughly pushed the older one to get him walking again. Teal'c walked between the two snipers, while Jack and Daniel brought up the rear. Both guns belonging to the snipers had been confiscated by Jack and he was currently carrying one while Teal'c had the other.

---

"You really don't have some kind of cure, something to reverse the effects of the poison?" asked Jack almost pleadingly. They were underground, talking to the planet inhabitants. The snipers had led them directly to their leader and explained the situation. The younger one had said he believed that they would not have stolen the treasure and that he regretted shooting Carter. As a result, they had been received well and allowed to keep their weapons on condition that they returned the guns they had taken from the snipers.

"I am sorry, but we do not," said Gus, the leader. "The poison was developed many years ago, before any of us were born. It has been passed down through the generations."

"And there was never any mention of something to counter-act it?" pressed Daniel. "Nothing in your historical records."

"No," replied Gus, but there was something in his eyes that made Daniel think he was lying.

Changing the topic slightly, Daniel asked, "Why was it originally developed? Why coat bullets in poison? Bullets are meant to kill people quickly, why go for a slow death instead?"

"You would not understand."  
  
"Try us," said Jack, more gently than Daniel would have expected from looking at his morose expression.

Gus looked around at his compatriots, who formed some sort of High Council, searching for permission to tell the story. Although no agreement was forthcoming, there were no objections raised either, so he decided to proceed.

"Our history books tell us that, many years ago, we were invaded by aliens who claimed they were servants of Gods. They took some of our people and implanted something, some kind of creature into them. The creature took over the minds of our people, turning them against us, making them kill those who did not obey the commands of the Gods." Gus stopped and looked around, anticipating disbelief from the travelers. However, he was met with understanding looks. "You do not seem surprised."

"These… creatures, did they look like snakes?" asked Jack, receiving a nod in reply. "Yeah, we're familiar with them. You know that the people they serve are false Gods, right?"

"Our ancestors determined that, yes, but the enemy were powerful. They had found our treasure and they wanted it. Some of our people tried to fight, to shoot them, but we found that we could not easily kill them as they were covered in too much armor. Our scientists used our treasure, three special materials, to develop the poison, though they were unaware of what it could do, how powerful it would become. When they realized its capabilities, they developed the method of coating the bullets in poison. With the poison, we do not need to the bullets to enter the body, a graze is enough. The poison is able to take control of the enemy's mind. Many of the enemy left, with only a small army remaining to mine our treasure and act as guards. They were shot with the poison bullets and their worst fears came true, or so they thought. A different type of poison was developed for the last few enemy, so that our ancestors could convince them to leave our planet alone, that we would always win. They have never returned and we think that their own historical records show we should not be visited."

"Don't count on it," said Jack quietly, "they'll be back eventually."

"You can exert mind control over a Gou'ald?" inquired Daniel in awe. "But, that's impossible without removing the symbiote, it will always fight off an attack."

"You mean the snake? The poison takes complete control, even of the snake."

"Wow," said Daniel. "You know, we could really use that stuff."

"I know, Daniel," said Jack gruffly, "but that's not the priority right now." Gus's story was amazing, but Carter was still on Jack's mind and, although he knew he shouldn't put her first, he was determined to help her before concentrating on the anti-Gou'ald benefits of the new information. "When your scientists developed the poison, or poisons, since you now say there are two, are you sure they didn't develop anything to counter-act it? They must have tested it on themselves first, or on someone at least. They must have had a way to reverse the process."

"There is nothing," said Gus, but his gaze faltered and Jack took a menacing step towards him. "There is something," he eventually relented. "It has never been tested though, at least not in my lifetime."

"What is it?" 

"There are notes, from our ancestors. There is a formula, but we do not know how to decipher it."

"It's different from the formula for the poison?"

"We do not have a formula for that," said Gus, prompting confused stares from SG1. "The method of producing it has been passed down through the generations through practice. Many of us have been shown how to make it and we pass that knowledge on to our children."

"Can we see the formula?" asked Jack as politely as he could manage.

With a tap of his cane, Gus silently directed one of his compatriots to retrieve the necessary document. "I cannot let you remove the paper from here, it is of great historical importance."

"That's okay, Danny here will copy it down," said Jack, glancing in Daniel's direction.

"In case we don't understand the formula either, could we have a sample of the poison?" requested Daniel. "Our scientists may be able to use it to develop a cure. We only have a trace amount at the moment, taken from our friend's blood."

"I can allow that, though I do not think it will do you much good."

"Could we also have some samples of your treasures?" asked Daniel, knowing he was pushing his luck.

"That I cannot allow," stated Gus firmly. "We do not allow _anyone_ to take our treasures."

"We only need small amounts. If they are used in the poison, they are probably crucial in a cure. Please." Daniel's tone implored Gus to listen and agree to his request and he was greatly relieved when Gus slowly nodded.

"I will allow _very_ small samples, I will make arrangements. If you ever return, you will not be given more and we will use all measures to ensure this," he warned. "As you know, we use the poison bullets to inflict maximum damage and a slow death on our enemy."

"Yeah, we know," muttered Jack.

"We'll also need the names of the treasures, whatever you call them individually," said Daniel. "That may help us figure out the formula." The document containing the formula had been passed to him and he was hurriedly scribbling down a copy, his mind trying to process it as he wrote. He didn't understand anything there, but hoped that the SGC scientists would. Numbers were present in the formula, which he assumed referred to amounts of the components, but there were also letters and that was what worried him; would the scientists be able to translate what the letters were meant to represent?

---

Jack was pacing. He had been pacing for four hours, four _long_ hours, since he had returned from the planet armed with the formula and chemical names for the samples they were carrying. Everything had immediately been passed to the scientists and SG1 had reluctantly left them to their work, with the assurance that they would be informed as soon as they made any headway.

"The problem is," said Daniel, watching Jack pace, "there's no way of testing the anti-venom. We can't infect anyone else with the poison, so Sam is going to be the literal guinea pig."

"I already said –"

"Jack," interrupted Daniel, "you know the General can't let you be infected and then test the anti-venom on you. What if it doesn't work? He would lose two officers instead of one."

"If it doesn't work, he's going to lose me anyway," mumbled Jack. "How sure are you that the formula was for a cure?" he asked more loudly.

"The wording before the formula seemed to indicate it was for that," said Daniel.

"So why have the inhabitants of the planet never tested it for themselves?"

"I don't know, Jack," he sighed. "They seemed to be very set in tradition though, only doing things that have been physically taught to them. The history books are only there to look at, not to learn from."

"But it's crazy. At one point, they actually admitted that some of their own people were hurt in a training accident a few years ago. Why not try out the formula then to try to cure them?" Jack remembered the pained look on Gus's face when he had made the admission, just before SG1 left the underground caverns. They had pressed him for an answer, but he had said nothing other than that they always let their people die with dignity.

"They seem to prefer to kill their people quickly if they've been hurt. We may not agree with their methods, Jack, but it's the way they do things, it's the way they've been taught."

"I know, Daniel, it's just that I have this feeling that they haven't told us something."

"What do we have to lose, Jack? If Sam doesn't get the anti-venom, she's going to die. If she gets it and it's not what we think it is, how much worse can it get?"

"With what we've seen over the years, you really shouldn't say something like that," muttered Jack.

---

"How confident are you that this will work, Doctor?" asked Hammond as he, Jack, Teal'c and Daniel sat in the Briefing Room with Janet Fraiser.

"The scientists seem pretty certain that they've interpreted the formula correctly, and the samples do appear to be what we found in the poison, the unknown chemicals," she replied. "I can't give you any guarantees, Sir."

"I know. SG1, Jacob has agreed that, since he can't be here, we should take any decisions with regard to his daughter, so I want your opinions on this; should we proceed?"

Teal'c and Daniel remained silent, both looking at Jack. "We discussed this earlier, Sir," said Jack, "and we think it's what Carter would want. She'd want to fight this. I just wish we could ask for her agreement."

"We all do, Colonel, but her state of mind is such that she would never grant agreement, she thinks we are all working against her." Jack closed his eyes and nodded, letting out a deep breath. "Doctor Fraiser, please proceed. Give Major Carter the anti-venom that the scientists have produced. We will watch from the Observation Room."

---

General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and Teal'c gathered in front of the Observation Room window, watching the action taking place in the room below. Major Carter was strapped to a hospital gurney, her eyes wide with fright as Janet tried to talk to her soothingly, telling her they were just going to run some more tests. Her condition had worsened substantially and she was convinced that a duplicate Colonel O'Neill was exercising some sort of mind control over everyone. She was completely unaware that almost the opposite was happening.

The needle containing the anti-venom was inserted into Sam's arm, at the point where the bullet initially grazed her, so that it would enter the bloodstream in exactly the same place. Janet had no idea how long it would take for any reaction to become apparent, but she figured it might take as long as it had for the original unconsciousness to kick in. However, she was totally unprepared for what actually happened.

"Get a crash cart," she yelled. "Start CPR!"

The faces in the Observation Room paled and Jack placed his palms against the window, trying to send all his strength to the woman lying below. Daniel rested a hand on Jack's shoulder and General Hammond copied his actions on the other side. They both heard Jack's silent plea. "Dammit, Carter, fight this."

---

TBC...

A/N: For those of you who commented that you didn't think the last chapter would end as it did, I know exactly where you are coming from – it certainly wasn't the ending I planned, but the angst just flowed out of me (hmm, is that something I should be proud of?) I did, however, plan _this_ ending like this. ;-)

I am totally astounded by the amount of reviews I have received for this, and I'm also totally delighted. Keep 'em coming. :-)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers, etc. in Chapter 1

Chapter 8

---

Jack's posture was that of a defeated man as he watched Janet try to revive Sam. "Maybe we should wait outside?" suggested Daniel, finding it hard to cope with what was happening and not wanting to watch.

"You go if you want, Daniel, I'm staying here," said Jack resolutely. Daniel shared a look with General Hammond. They both knew how much Jack was blaming himself for Sam being shot in the first place. To now have to watch her be resuscitated was going to take its toll and they didn't know if he would ever recover. If Sam didn't make it… they couldn't even bear to think of that.

"Thank God for that," said Hammond suddenly and the others followed his gaze to the heart monitor connected to Sam; it showed her heart was beating steadily.

After a few tense minutes, Janet was finally satisfied that she could leave Sam for a few minutes and she entered the Observation Room.

"She's stable for now," she said softly, "I'll run frequent brain scans to check if the anti-venom is having any reaction."

"Oh, it's having a reaction alright," said Jack in a tone dripping with sarcasm. Everyone else dipped their heads, unable to look at him when they knew he was right.

"I'm afraid it's a waiting game now," said Janet. "We'll monitor her closely."

"Can we see her?" asked Jack.

Janet met his gaze briefly before looking at General Hammond meaningfully. "You can all see her but, I'm sorry, Colonel," she said slowly, "I don't think you should. We have no way of knowing if she will have the same reaction as before."

"She unconscious," pointed out Jack testily.

"Yes, but she could wake at any moment. I'm not going to order you to stay away, Colonel, but I am asking you."

"Alright," he agreed, his mood somber and his eyes staring out into the room below, watching the prone form lying on the gurney. "You'll tell me if…"

"I'll let you know as soon as there's any change," said Janet gently.

---

Daniel found Jack an hour later sitting in his office playing with his Gameboy. "Sam's latest brain scan seems to indicate the poison is beginning to recede," he reported happily.

"Is she awake?"

"Not yet."

The Gameboy was tossed onto the desk and a yo-yo retrieved. "The Doc thinks she's getting better?"

"She's hopeful, yes," confirmed Daniel. Jack nodded and returned his attention to the yo-yo. "You'll be able to see her soon, Jack," he said encouragingly, but got no response whatsoever.

---

The general mood around the SGC was beginning to lighten as news of Major Carter's improvement started to filter through. However, they were dealt another devastating blow approximately six hours after she had received the anti-venom. Little did they know that there had been six hours between her being hit with the bullet and falling unconscious originally.

"General Hammond to the infirmary," announced a voice over the tannoy. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c were in the commissary and, as soon as they heard the broadcast, they shared looks of fear. Quickly masking his emotions, Jack pushed away from the table, leaving the others to follow.

"Jack, we don't know it's her," said Daniel, his voice betraying him by sounding unconvincing. The three of them walked through the corridors of the base, taking as short a route as possible towards their destination. All the SGC personnel they passed gave them looks of commiseration, serving only to increase Jack's annoyance.

"Of course it's her, Daniel," he spat out bitterly, "there's no-one else in there right now that's in any danger."

"Jack, you know you can't go in—"

"Daniel Jackson, I do not believe you should finish that statement," warned Teal'c gravely, his gaze firmly fixed on the look of fury on O'Neill's face.

They arrived at the infirmary and Jack started to push the doors open, but suddenly stopped and turned to Daniel. His look was indecipherable, emotions locked firmly away, but when his hands dropped to his sides and his shoulders slumped, Daniel knew Jack had seen sense.

"Stay here, I'll check what's happening," he said softly, patting Jack's arm gently as he passed. Teal'c remained outside, ready to restrain O'Neill if he felt it necessary, although he would be reluctant to take such action.

Nearly ten minutes elapsed before Daniel reappeared. Tears were glistening in his eyes and Jack took one look at him before striding away from the infirmary.

"Jack, wait!" called Daniel. He was relieved when Jack stopped walking, but aghast when the older man let his fist fly into a wall. Rushing to his side, Daniel said hurriedly, "She's okay, Jack." Piercing brown eyes met Daniel's and he explained, "She crashed again, but they got her back. She's awake." The brown eyes grew wide, but Jack remained silent. "Janet wants to assess her properly and then she'll update us."

"Did she say anything?" asked Jack finally, his voice stilted.

"She recognized Janet, but she was confused," replied Daniel. "Janet started checking her over, so I left before anything else was said. She didn't mention you though, Jack. Last time it was the first thing she said, so hopefully that's a good sign."

"Daniel Jackson, the eternal optimist," said Jack sarcastically, but a small smile tugged at his lips and Daniel knew that he was trying hard to believe in the faint hope.

---

"Good to know nothing changes," murmured Major Sam Carter to herself as she stood outside her lab. Two days had passed since she had been given the anti-venom and Janet had finally allowed her to leave the infirmary, on the premise that she remained confined to base, in particular her quarters and the commissary.

The reason for her comment was the 'No Entry' sign hanging on the door of her lab, with the words, "That Means YOU, Carter' written underneath it in the very familiar handwriting of Colonel O'Neill. She was tempted to enter anyway, but restrained herself, realizing that she would not be surprised to find her lab booby-trapped in some way to prevent her from working if she even got inside.

Shaking her head and suppressing a chuckle, she about-turned and headed for her quarters. It was there that she found another note, attached to her door. Her laughter echoed around the corridor as she read, 'Well done, Carter, you found your way here. Now stay here.' It amazed her that the Colonel managed to get away with doing things like that, but he always found a way.

Flopping down onto her bed, Sam let her mind wander, replaying the events of the previous two days. When she awoke in the infirmary, she didn't remember anything of the mission she had been on, other than that she had been grazed by a bullet. Her memory of the mission itself was still hazy, but anything after the bullet hit was completely blank to her. Janet and General Hammond had told her everything; how she thought Colonel O'Neill was dead, how her condition worsened every time he was near and how she had undergone resuscitation twice after being given an anti-venom to counter-act the poison.

She didn't remember any of it and, as she expected, she had been subjected to a fair amount of teasing from the rest of SG1, well, Daniel anyway. Teal'c had expressed that he was glad to have her back in her normal state of being. The Colonel though had hardly said a word about it. He had visited her a couple of times in the infirmary, but always with Teal'c or Daniel, never alone. He had been in good humor, helping Daniel to tease her a little, making her apologize for not recognizing his presence was real, but there was something in his eyes every time, as if he didn't quite believe she was back.

Her musings were interrupted by a knock on the door and she rose from the bed to answer it.

"Colonel, hi," she greeted, stepping back to let him enter.

"Hey, Carter. I just thought I'd drop by, make sure you found the place alright. You've not spent much time here before," he said dryly.

Rolling her eyes at his comment, she motioned for him to take a seat and he dropped into her desk chair while she sat down on the end of her bed. His eyes scanned his surroundings, noting the photos of her father, brother and his family. A giant poster of Einstein adorned one wall, with the others bare.

"Is that to remind you to comb the bedhead out of your hair?" he grinned, pointing to the poster. She chose not to dignify his question by giving an answer.

"So, uh… How can I help you, Colonel?" she asked hesitantly after a few moments of silence.

"I'm not Colonel O'Neill anymore."

Carter looked at him blankly, then her face split into a wry grin as she said, "Very funny, Colonel. I guess I deserve that though. I've already apologized nine ways to Sunday for thinking you were dead, how many more times do I have to say sorry?"

"No, Carter, that's not what I meant. I'm really _not_ Colonel O'Neill anymore."

"I don't understand."

"That's not something I hear from you every day," he grinned. "I've resigned, Carter, retired, whatever you wanna call it."

"When? How? Why?" she asked, her mouth opening and eyes growing wide with shock.

"I'll answer those in order," he smiled. "About ten minutes ago, a letter handed to General Hammond and a few reasons," he shrugged. "Doesn't really matter, I just thought I'd let you know."

"Sir, has something happened?" His reluctance to explain was worrying and her thoughts were jumping around. "Is this anything to do with what happened to me?" she asked quietly when he didn't answer her earlier question.

"It's a factor," he admitted, "but it's not the only reason." Rising from his seat, he walked to the wall with the poster and leaned back against it, dropping his gaze to his boots. "My knees have gone, Carter, you know that. I'm tired, physically and emotionally."

"Sir, you've been like that for a while," she pointed out, adding, "no offence," as an after-thought, but tempering it with a smile. He raised his eyes to meet hers briefly, but then looked down again. "Sir, there's so much we still have to do. The poison I was infected with, we can try to use that against the Gou'ald, the way the inhabitants of the planet did. The Tok'ra are willing to let their scientists experiment with it, see if there's a way they can develop the mind control aspects. There's so much to achieve and it's within our grasp," she said earnestly.

"I know, but I'm done waiting," he sighed. "Carter, I've had enough."

"What's happened, Sir?" she pushed. Daniel had told her of the Colonel's reactions to what happened when she was poisoned, how he started to let his emotions show. General Hammond had also alluded that the Colonel had said more than he should.

Letting out a deep sigh, Jack retook his seat in front of the desk and rested his elbows on his knees, face in his hands. "I don't want your worst fear to come true," he almost whispered. Before she could say anything, he pressed on. "I think I should tell you what _my_ worst fear is."

"Sir, you don't have to," she said quietly, stunned by the track the conversation was taking.

"It's similar to yours actually," he told her. "I worry that you'll be killed on a mission. Actually," he amended, "I worry that you'll be killed anywhere."

"And you think that by leaving you won't worry?" she asked incredulously. "Wouldn't it make more sense to stay on the team, where you can protect me?" She let out a gasp as she realized what she had just said.

"You don't need protection, Carter, you can handle yourself; you're a good officer." His tone was serious and she regarded him carefully. "You're possibly right though, it probably would make more sense to stay on the team, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's not just that you'll be killed," he responded slowly, "it's that you'll be killed before our work at the SGC is complete." Sam knew exactly what he was talking about and understood why he couldn't voice the words. "I also… I didn't handle your situation well, Carter, when you were poisoned," he said in self-annoyance. "I couldn't stand to see you like that and I hated that I could have prevented it."

"You couldn't have, Sir," she objected immediately.

"Nothing you say will make me change my mind about that," he replied. "I'm too tired to put myself through that again, time after time, which is what we both know will happen."

"So you're just going to leave, cut yourself off?"

"I'm not going to cut myself off, but I am going to leave," he confirmed. "I've told Hammond I'll be available if I'm ever needed, but I won't be involved in any run-of-the-mill missions or day-to-day events."

"I can't believe you're doing this," she said, her tone accusing.

"I hoped you'd understand, Carter, but I guess I'd be the same if the situations were reversed."

"Maybe I should leave," she mused. "I could stay on as a civilian, not put myself in any life-threatening situations."

"You know that's not the answer," he said firmly. "You're going to lead SG1, I've discussed that already with the General. You're going to do a damn fine job too, or you'll have me to answer to."

"Sir, I –"

"Carter, please, I came to tell you my decision, not discuss it with you."

"So, that's it? I don't even merit a proper explanation?" Her anger was rising and she pushed off the bed to pace around the room. "Don't you think _I'm_ going to worry? Don't you think that, by not seeing you pretty much every day, I'm going to wonder where you are, what you're doing, if you're okay?"

"I'm not leaving the country, Carter, I'm not even leaving the State."

"You're not going to Minnesota?" she queried in surprise. "I thought you'd be going to your cabin."

"Well, you know what thought did," he grinned. "I want to enjoy my retirement, spend time with friends, get to know them a little better." The hint in his voice did not go unnoticed and Sam dipped her head a little.

"You're really sure about all this?"

"Yeah, Carter, I am," he said seriously. "I'm gonna go, have to sort a few things out before I can leave."

"Organizing your farewell party?" she teased.

"No-one knows I'm leaving and they won't until I'm already gone. I'll let Daniel, Teal'c and the Doc know, but that's it." At her confused look he added, "It's the way I want it, Carter. I just wanna go, no fuss."

"Okay," she nodded. "Take care, Sir."

"I'm leaving the Air Force, Carter, I'm not leaving you," he said softly, prompting another confused look. "I'll give you a call. I'm not exactly a good cook, as you know, so I figure I'm going to be eating out a lot; you can join me."

"Is that an order?" she half-smiled.

"No, it's a request. Will you have dinner with me?"

"Sure," she replied, a full smile gracing her lips.

"Good," he nodded. "I'll call you," he said as he slipped from the room to start his new life, which would, in turn, be a new life for her too.

---

The End

Thank you yet again for the amazing reviews I've received for this fic. It ended up being a lot longer and a lot more angsty than I planned, but knowing you enjoyed it has made the work worthwhile.

I'm not entirely happy with the ending, but it's the best my cold-addled brain can do at the moment, so I hope it satisfies. :-)


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